Thoughts of the Week | Sunday Dec 3rd, 2017

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Thought #1: Literature

I hope somebody makes a joke along the lines of, “worse than Virginia Woolf in a Kids’ TV Show.”

Character: “*Gasp! Points at an object in the room* What is that?!”

Virginia Woolf: “It looks like a hole, maybe someone perforated the wood, I wonder where the first lumberjacks came from, did wood get used before metal? What is it that they said in that museum, I should read more, my eyesight is failing me, I’m getting old, why are we mortal, decaying beings?”

Character: “Good job! It’s a button!”

The Norton Anthology of English Literature
From Right to Left: The Norton Anthology of English Literature and another book.

Thought #2: Black Friday Fail

I resent the fact that I lost the chance to buy the Essential Oil Diffuser I wanted during Black Friday, when it was a “mere” $23 (maybe $24) as opposed to $40. 😒

The reaction spectrum ranges from, “Oh, well, at least it’s just a $16 difference,” to, “WHY DON’T YOU TAKE MY BLOOD WHILE WE’RE AT IT.” I’m somewhere in the mid-to-latter side.

Embrace stinky-puppy and lingering-fried-food smells for now 😑


Thought #3: Self-Improvement

When you learn so many life tricks and hacks that you forget all of them and so your life is still a mess…

Maybe I should have a Step-by-Step daily guide glued to my arm or pay someone to pretend to be my drill sergeant…


Thought #4: Winter (No Fall?)

New England weather. This year, Fall came and went faster than a party crasher who missed all the free drinks and food. Trying to make an assessment of what will save me from the impending ice death *Midwesterners laugh*.

1. Put on winter jacket.

2. Reach for pockets.

3. There are no pockets.

4. Remove jacket because wearing it would be immoral.


Thought #5: Female Conversations

So if you’re in an all-women group, and you’re only talking about dating, crushes and relationships, but it’s only about lesbian dating, crushes and relationships, you pass the Bechdel Test, right?

Wait, if you have two women talking to each other, and they only talk about another woman—even if it’s in a non-romantic way—that’s also passing? Even if it’s pure gossip talk?

And if they only talked about someone with an alternative gender identity outside of birth-assigned gender identities? Is that passing!?


Thought #6: A New Acting Award

So I want to see a new acting award for best chameleon actress/actor. Those roles that make you go like, “WOAH! Hoooww… Did Charlize Theron look like that for Monster and then change back to superhuman person,” or, “HOLY SH**, ALEXANYA ATOZ FROM ZOOLANDER 2 WAS KRISTEN WIIG ALL ALONG!?“, as well as my guessing 30 different actors, including simply a potato, before realizing it’s yet another Christian Bale metamorphosis—HOW?!?!

I hope these can be called the Chamis. They’re the Chameleon Awards. They’re a clear statue in the shape of a chameleon and every year a different artist makes a new rendition of the Karma Chameleon song. Finally, when someone feels they got cheated out of the award, they can go, “Damn Chamis!” Which makes everyone a bit uncomfortable but also a bit nostalgic.

Had you watched this video? First time I watched it. Worth it.


Thought #7: WHAT WAS IT

I forgot, so, nevermind…


Thought #8: Love and Fame

So this is my opinion on the matter, *self-quote*:

“If you hate what you’re doing, no amount of fame will change that, but if you love what you’re doing, you won’t give a damn about fame.”

Was this said by anyone else? Anyway, ask me in a couple of years whether I achieve either one and how I feel about it then.


Thought #9: SLIGHTLY MANIC NIGHT

When you’re going to get 4 or less hours of sleep but DAMN YOU DIDN’T KNOW ALL OF THESE AMAZING SONGS WERE BY TOTO—and other shenanigans you didn’t need to do on a work night…

(Of course I knew about Africa…)

WAIT.

THIS IS WHAT HANSON WAS SINGING ALL ALONG!?!?

https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hanson/mmmbop.html 

Try to sing the Mmmbop chorus reading it, I dare you. Get someone drunk. Try to have them sing the chorus out loud just by reading it, not from memory. If they can do it, knock them out. Kidnap them. Hide them. They’re not human. If the government finds out, they’ll take them. Then again, befriending them will only put you in harm’s way. Kill them, just kill them. Take their booze.


Thought #10: (‘Cause we use a decimal system… And why not) Shōjo

You know those nights when you really want to watch a romcom, a romantic Korean Drama or a shōjo just for the character tension and eventual display of affection but don’t want to wait a whole 2+ hours of a movie for closure, 17 episodes of a drama just for an awkward kiss, or 130+ EPISODES OF INUYASHA TO FINALLY HAVE THEM ADMIT, JUST, ANYTHING, GOD DANGIT…

I suggest Say “I love you”. I won’t give spoilers, buuut, you won’t have to wait long for the action you’re looking for *wink wink*.

Erika, please, not on the internet… *facepalm*

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